The Humours Of Whiskey lyrics

by Colm R. McGuinness

Let your quacks and newspapers be cuttin' their capers
About curing the vapors the scratch and the gout
With their medical potion, their serums and their lotions
Upholding their notion, they're mighty put out.

Who can tell the true physic to all that's pathetic
And pitch to the divil, cramp, colic and spleen
And you'll know what I think if you take a big drink
With your mouth to the brink of a jug of poteen

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh what botheration no dosing the nation
Can give consolation like poteen me boys.

No liquid cosmetic her love is athletic
Or bodies pathetic can give such a bloom
As the sweet by the powers in the garden of flowers
Ever gave their own bowers such a darling perfume

And this liquid so rare if you willingly share
To be taking your hair when it's frizzled and dead
Oh the sod has the merit to yield the true spirit
So strong it will shake all the hairs from your head

Then stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh since its perfection, no doctor's direction
Can cleanse the complexion like poteen me boys

While a child in me cradle, me nurse with her ladle
Was filling my mouth with a notion of pap
When a drop from her bottle fell into my throttle
I stumbled and capered clean out of her lap

On the floor I lay crawlin' and screaming and bawling
'Til me mother and father were called to the fore
All sobbing and sighing they feared I was dying
But soon found I only was crying for more.

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh lord how they'd chuckle if babes in their truckle
They only could suckle on poteen me boys

Through my youthful aggression, through times of depression
My childhood's impression still clung to me mind
And at school or at college the basis of knowledge
I never could gulp 'til with whiskey combined

And as older I'm growing times ever bestowin'
On Erin's potation, a flavour so fine
And how ere they may lecture on Jove and his nectar
Itself is the only true liquid divine

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh Lord, 'tis the right thing for courtin' and fighting
There's nowt so exciting as poteen me boys.

Come guess me this riddle, what beats pipes and fiddle
What's hotter than mustard and milder than cream
What best wets your whistle, what's clearer than crystal
What's sweeter than honey and stronger than steam

What'll make the lame walk, what'll make the dumb talk,
The elixir of life and philospher's stone
And what helped Mr. Brunel to build the Thames Tunnel
Oh wasn't it poteen from Malin Inishowen

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
Oh Lord, it's a wonder, if lightning and thunder
Were made from the plunder of poteen me boys.

You maidens pathetic, with lovers athletic
For liquid cosmetic, you can't beat the drop
With a glow to your cheek, it will make your heart leap
It'll quiet a stallion and cure an old cob

At the mouth you would drool, be reduced to a fool
You'd kick up your heels and you'd peel to the buff
And then he'd be pathetic while you'd be athletic
If only you'd take a few drops of the stuff

So stick to the cratur' the best thing in nature
For sinking your sorrows and raising your joys
For there's nothing like whiskey to make maidens frisky
It soon separates all the men from the boys.

Song Details

Paddys Panacea Album

Song: Traditional c: 1825

Verses: Attributed to Joseph Lunn (1784-1863)

Original Title: Paddy's Panacea

Earliest Date of Circulation from print or manuscript: 1901 from the publication by Manus O'Connor - Old Time Songs And Ballad Of Ireland

Earliest Recording: Tom Lenihan - Paddy's Panacea - Songs traditional in West Clare.

Brief: Whiskey is the answer to everything! It's the best thing in nature for sinking your sorrows and raising your joys. It cures cramp, colic and spleen, cleanses the complexion, calms a baby when mixed in milk, soothes a mind at school, makes maidens frisky, the dumb talk, the lame walk, and helped Mr Brunel dig the Thames tunnel... it doesn't get much better than that!

References

physic: medicinal drugs
divil: the devil
poteen: traditional Irish distilled beverage - Poitín (Irish pronunciation: [ˈpˠotʲiːnʲ]), anglicized as potcheen, poteen or potheen (/ˈpʊtʃiːn/ PUUT-cheen),
cratur: Irish or Scottish variant of creature
Jove: Roman God
nowt: nothing
Inishowen: peninsula in the north of County Donegal in Ireland.
throttle: a person's throat, gullet, or windpipe.
potation: an alcoholic drink.
truckle: small bed on casters
philosopher's stone: to cure all diseases and prolong life indefinitely
botheration: effort, worry, or difficulty; bother - used to express mild irritation or annoyance.
Mr. Brunel: Marc Isambard Brunel began construction of the Thames Tunnel in 1825. The tunnel was completed in 1842 and opened in 1843.

Category: Drinking Song / Humourous

Covers: Andy M. Stewart And Manus Lunny, Hozier, The Wolfhounds, The Rising Pints, Tim Lyons, Tom Doherty, Dennis Doyle, Marc Gunn.

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